So lately I've been filling in my picture of what my future will look like. Before this year my image of the future was blurry at best. I spent most of time in denial that I would ever have to grow up and find something to make a living at. I had all sorts of fantasies about running away to be a ski bum in the mountains, trying to become a fitness model, or going over seas to play international rugby.
But now that I'm studying math again it's like I've found my first love again. I find that the intellectual rigor of math engages me in the way no other subject really can. It feels good to continually be learning and to push myself to do so.
Ideally I'd be a math professor someday, preferably at a large research type institution. But sometimes I doubt myself. For some reason I don't have that much confidence in my abilities--which is stupid because I have no reason to think I'm not cut out for it. In fact some of my profs have said they think I have what it takes to be a successful math graduate student. But I worry sometimes that my lack of background in certain areas of mathematics will hold me back.
So I have this one prof that I have been getting to know. He's a really cool guy. Normal, not geeky, smart, explains abstract concepts in a way that a high schooler could understand, and above all he's not cocky, at all.
He showed us this mathematical card trick in class one day for fun and said if anyone could figure it out he'd treat them to lunch...
I figured it out in about ten minutes and like a week later someone else figured it out.
So I was reading up on him last night and figured out that he's actually a pretty big deal in math. He got his PhD in math from MIT and has served as the chief editor for a pretty big math journal and sits on a bunch of editorial boards. He also has some big title at my university. Sort of intimidating, but you wouldn't guess it at all from the way he acts.
Anyways.
If you haven't figured it out I'm not at the same school I used to be at. The University I'm going to now has some serious connections, its a top school in math, especially for certain subfields of it.
And for those of you interested the types of math I'm attracted to is mostly abstract stuff. I tried taking a math finance course this year but dropped after the second week b/c it was so boring (for me at least...no offense intended).
So yea I spend a good chunk of my day wondering if I can cut it in a very competitive field. I spose all I can really do is work hard, talk to my professors, keep doors open, and hope for the best.
I have a post coming soon which should be pretty good.
Jordan
Core memory unlocked!
5 years ago
8 comments:
I think you've got it right: work hard, talk to your professors [and believe them when they say you have ability], keep doors open, and hope for the best.
It's great to be really good at something you enjoy and could make a living from. I think you're really lucky to have realized this about yourself.
Jordan: I'm a new reader, let me try to catch up on your older posts so I get a better view of you before I start commenting. Let me just say you aren't the first gay guy who fell for a S8 guy, that happened to me too.
t is really hard to say ahead of time if someone can achieve a PhD in math. Ask your professors about their experiences and tell them not to sugar coat the story. I have a friend that got a PhD in engineering from MIT and another friend that got an undergrad in engineering from MIT, and both guys pretty much hated their experience at MIT. The PhD friend practically sweat blood while writing his dissertation. Its a sink or swim kind of situation. Generally speaking you will take about two years worth of graduate classes in math, then you will take a qualifying exam, which will last at least one day maybe two, and it covers those two years of coursework. Many schools have a high pass and low pass rating, the low pass means that you walk away with a master's degree and a high pass means you can move on to the dissertation phase. I have heard of programs allowing two attempts at achieving a high pass on the exam.
To be successful at the graduate level, you have to be able to study for long hours, and often study far in advance of the exam because some courses will only have a midterm and final. Also, you need to get the course info into your long term memory in preparation for the qualifying exam at the end of year two, you won't have enough to time to go back and review everything from the begining. During the disertation phase you will have to work independently on your original research, if you get stuck you will have to find your own way, your advisors will critic your work but most of the teaching is over. They expect you to use books and journals to fill the gaps in your knowledge and solve your own problems.
Here is my opinion on how to proceed:
- As you said, talk to your professors and other graduate students, ask questions about workload, stress, hours studing, qualifying exams, how to pick a discertation topic, how to pick a discertation advisor.
- Ask those grad students and professors if they knew students who did not make it through program and why they think they did not make it. Just remember that some people, especially men, will not tell you that they went home and cried everynight from the stress. So, make some friends with grad students and see how they work and live, observing the kind of stress they are under as opposed to just listening to stories.
- Take all of the course work for a BS in math, especially Real Analysis 1 and 2 (aka Adv Calculus 1 and 2) perferably with high A's, before seriously considering grad school in math. Then at least you will have another degree if you decide grad school is not the right direction for your life.
- Some people love grad school and some people hate it, so if you can find a way to dip your toe into it without turing your life upside down if might be a good idea. Some schools will allow you to take a couple of grad classes without enrolling in a Phd or masters program.
- In my experience, the most successfull people in a grad program in one of the hard sciences were not the most brilliant, rather the hardest working. The people who can go to class and\or study from 8 a.m. to midnight 6 days per week seem to be able to make it through about any progam.
oh geez . . douche
hey man, thanks for the comment and ive read your blog before. i like it a lot and feel like we are similar besides that your ahead of me in the coming out process. but do what you think would fit you best. im sure things will work out
jordan
hey im glad to see ya back
bob
I think you should keep your doors open. You seem like a pretty talented student judging from what your profs tell you. I guess.. do what you love and work hard for it :p
What @naturgesetz said...
People who explain an incredibly complex topic simply and succinctly are usually incredibly smart. Those that do the reverse aren't. :-)
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