My Dilemma

In regards to dating I've ran accross a sort of dilemma. I am conflicted between my desire for a long term commited relationship and my desire for umm.. physicality for a lack of a better word.
I'm at the stage of my life where I am starting to think more about my future, what I want to do, and inevitably who I can live it with (whether friends or lovers). Many of my close friends my age are seriously dating others and some are considering marriage, and I feel that I should also be looking for people I could potentially spend my life with.
But I have a problem with that...
I have no experience being in a relationship with another person. Hell, I don't even have any sexual experience. I'm pretty inexperienced all around and am not even sure what kinda of person I'm looking for yet. I'm definetely not ready to commit to someone in an LTR yet and think that doing so may be a rash decision given my limited experience.
I'm only starting to gain some of the dating experience that many of my heterosexual peers gained when they were entering highschool...
I have the emotional and life needs of a 22 yo, but the sexual and relational needs of a 15 yo... its not a good place to be... it means i have a lot of dating to do.

not only that... but I have a pretty radical fear of commitment. I'm scared of prematurely attaching myself to the wrong person for the wrong reasons. I'm scared of hurting others by being unfaithful and scared of being hurt in the same way.

I really want a committed relationship eventually, but I dont think I'm emotionally capable of having one right now.
But I dont just want to hookup with guys and become a slut, that's not my style either... I dont want sex w/o any sort of connection, I'd feel so gross about myself...
what do I need? Somehow I spose I'm trying to gain the dating experience I really should have had 6 years ago. But that's complicated by all sorts of factors... for example how slutty and deceptive other gay guys can be... the fact that most people seem to be interested in either really serious relationships or plain out be sluts... idk..
maybe i'm over thinking this thing. maybe i just need to find the right guy.

I'm pretty innocent for my age and really dont know what i'm getting myself into with the prospect of a relationship at this point.. but I spose I'll learn.

alright, I think this post was too long and rambly without any concrete examples, next post I'll talk about the kid who I dated several times and how he fell for me.

peace
Jordy