To clarify

Before I continue I want to say thanks to everyone who's been following me and commenting on my blog lately. You folks have some really good advice, and more than anything I value the encouragement: you're awesome!!!

some questions arose in the comments to the last blog, and I want to state some things which will hopefully bring clarity:


-- My rants against 'Christains' are really rants about the people that I'm surrounded by. I am not saying that all Christians are hateful or that Christianity is a stupid in itself. I am saying that Christianity has been hijacked by hateful people.

I do not despise religion, in fact to a degree I'm still religious. I have a hard time calling myself a Christian because I cognitively associate the term 'Christian' with a lot of horrible things, but this does not mean that I am not a Christian. In fact it is the teachings of the bible (especially regarding love, grace, and inclusion) that have radically shaped my outlook on life.

--After I graduate I plan on taking the next year off of school to apply for PHd programs in grad school. I will probably be living in my current city during that year. I plan on living only with people who will be okay with me being gay and potentially acting on my gayness. Basically I want to feel like I can bring a guy/bf over to my place without feeling uncomfortable. I know several people i could live with who would be cool with that, so I'm in decent shape there.

My city is pretty big... Well big enough that there are a bunch of gay bars and a gay street and everything... so there are enough gay peeps here for me to meet (i hope)

As for grad school i'm looking into several schools in cali, others on the east coast. but Cali has good programs in what i'd be interestedin doing, and cali seems like a sort of gay haven...

--I'm definitely going to talk to the cute kid from class... I saw him on Friday, I had just got done biking to school and he was at this table talking to someone. I was walking by pretty quickly, and usually, with most guys, you'd just say hi... but he started talking to me, and it got awkward. i dunno, that was a horrible explanation, but basically my gaydar is screaming....

And he's not ur stereotypical gay either, he's really cute but athletic looking and not very effeminate... I kind of sense that he's sensitive tho...

but yea i wanna get to know him, at least be his friend and maybe more.

frick i'll post about him latter this week after we have class... there's so much to say (although not much has happened)




so yeah there's three points of clarification...

Again thank you all for interacting with me, you're awesome.


on another note...

I really really want to be physically intimate with another guy...

even kissing and cuddling

I want it really bad. I think it's a strange combo between being horny and lonely. Hornly? i dunno. but I've never had anything like that my whole life, and I want/need it.

I suppose Aaron did kinda cuddle with me tonight. I was taking a rest (stomach down) and he like, jumped on top of me. It pretty much would have been sex if we were naked haha.... but yea

It felt really good. but it wasn't ultimately fulfilling because for me it lacked that romantic aspect (he has a gf afterall).

But yeah, only if i could kiss him, and cuddle with him w/o worrying about how touching or cuddling with him is too gay...


anyways,

your Friend

Jordo