not so bad, but still bored

so yea... despite my last post im not doing too bad... actually not sure if ne 1 read it besides cash, but thats cool.

Was watching football today and my dad and mom were like encouraging me about my future and were telling me that im young and can still make something of myself. They dont want to see me just float by working waiting jobs or what have you. So yea im probs going back to school, prbly for mathematics.... sounds lame, but im really good at it and i love it. Strangely enough mathematics has a cathartic effect on me.

So yea altho my life cud be better right now in multiples ways and if i could go back and do things differently Id be sitting sweet in life right now, its def not too late.

And really things arent that bad for me. I have two jobs when millions in america dont have any jobs. I will be making more money than my mom (whos a teacher and has her masters. I dont have too many student loans, and most importantly I'm healthy, intelligent, and have charisma. All i need to decide now is what i want to do with my life and what will make me happy in ten years. I have a job which can keep me stable while i try to figure out what i wanna do with my life, but i cant just sit on these jobs, i have to decide.

My life is basically whatever i make of it at this point. The problem is I'm not sure what i want. I'd like to make decent money and have good benefits. I feel i have money i cud have kids and support a fam and shit so thatd be good. But id also like to do meaningful work. Id like to go home at the end of the day knowing that i did something positive... even if its something small... Spose i dont wanna end up on wall street writting derrivatives and making profits off of others losses, but i dont exactly want to be working for non-profits. there's got to be a happy medium right?

As far as rugby goes... i'm 205 right now working up to 210. If i can get to 210 or 215 im the size of a lot of pro rugby players who play my position... think i might do semi pro stuff, not sure yet. Id like to have a reason to work out tho and rugby is a blast. Ive gotten stronger too so id love to get on the field again and plow kids over haha
oh and speaking of rugby, just to prove to y'all that rugby players are the hottest


theres that pic

umm yea...
other than that theres cute gym boy. hes straight but ive been fantasizing that perhaps hes gay. maybe he is idk... he shows interest in me and has some gay traights. Either way im bummed cuz i didnt see him at the gym last couple days. he was busy w/ school, but still. My gym is like an old persons gym and i dont like it. I have a feeling im getting oogled by old men and its weird... So cute gym boy is my only relief from overweight people... hes the only eye candy. I decided id like to be his friend regardless of if hes gay or not. i figure i'll ask for his number. I dont think he knows many people in the area and i am away from uni friends so we cud chill and shit. If we do tho i plan on coming out to him and being like, i know ur straight i just wanna let u know if were gonna be friends...
im sick of lying and itd be nice to have a straight guy friend who im upfront with about my sexuality... i spose i have a couple already but none of them are hot athletic types haha

so yea.... other than that im bored. i just dont see enough people in my life. Im sick of living at home and sick of going to bed alone and waking up alone and doing everything alone. itd be nice just to have friends aroudn again. I'm a very social person and get grumpy when i get pent up here. so yea i need to get out more. this weekend was fun tho, and i might have met a dateable guy, which wud be sweet. we'll see tho


alright holy shit another redic long post

peace out
jordy